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From the earliest years of his marriage, Paul Hegstrom handled his problems and frustrations the only way he knew how: with fists and fury. Talking about the problem only intensified his rage. Going into the Christian ministry didn’t help either, the guilt merely magnified his despair. Facing a charge of attempted murder and a prison term, Hegstrom got the wake-up call he needed. With professional help and an intense struggle with spiritual issues, he began the lengthy process of healing and recovery.Through a fascinating, yet thorough examination of the psychological components of various types of abuse, along with true examples from his own life and others, Hegstrom points the way back to wholeness and freedom. An invaluable aid for the man who batters, the woman who feels trapped, and the pastor, counselor, or friend who desperately wants to help them both, Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them offers straight answers for those willing to overcome the cycle of violence. The revised and updated edition includes a new chapter that discusses the physiological and psychological changes in the brain when abuse occurs.
- Sales Rank: #46645 in Books
- Brand: Beacon Hill Press
- Published on: 2004-05-28
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.18" h x .41" w x 5.12" l, .45 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 152 pages
About the Author
Paul Hegstrom is the founder of Life Skills International, a program designed to teach life skills to individuals with unacceptable behaviors and enhance family relationships through nurturing character and maturity. Paul holds a Bachelor of Science degree in pastoral counseling and a Ph.D. in marriage and family therapy. He is a certified cognitive behavioral therapist with the National Board of Cognitive Behavioral Therapists and has been featured by such national media as USA Today, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, The Montel Williams Show, and The Coral Ridge Hour. Paul and Judy Hegstrom’s story was featured in the 1995 CBS movie, Unforgivable: The Life Story of Paul Hegstrom, which starred John Ritter.
Most helpful customer reviews
42 of 43 people found the following review helpful.
A Must Read and Heed Book!
By LLOYD DOERBAUM
Implement! Do it! Half of my counseling career dealt with violent, angry men, incarcerated for life because they totally lost it... and now regret it. "If only someone had stopped me before I did her in." This statement said over and over even when some went in for counseling sessions yet departed because they did not want the "counsel." That meant dramatic change and they loved their power position so much their "security blanket" was not about to be given up.
Hegstrom's book skillfully presents these insights with all the "on the scene" drama [routinely seen by deputies] as you cannot help but empathize along with all the hurt, pain, and grief experienced by the two parties tied together in these agonizing episodes. Nonetheless, if the solution is only pondered and never applied, they spin their wheels agonizing forever. Read and heed his counsel!
For those couples who will read, I can give them a copy of this book. It is that helpful.
40 of 43 people found the following review helpful.
A Must Read for Anyone Dealing With Angry People, Including Yourself!!
By Elizabeth
Update: I am no longer with the fiance I mentioned in my review. For almost five years now, I have been very happily married to a wonderful man that treats me extremely well. I am truly blessed!
Original review: While in the bookstore at church earlier this year, my fiance at the time held up the book, Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them, and said, "Look at this." My response was, "I want that book. Please buy it for me!" which he did. I had been seeing a pattern of anger and rage in him, and it scared me.
This book absolutely opened my eyes to the root causes of anger, which is a secondary emotion. I grew up with an angry father and so did my fiance, who was incredibly wounded physically, emotionally, and sexually while growing up. What I found so helpful about this book is the discussion of the brain and what happens physiologically when we are physically, emotionally, mentally, and/or sexually wounded before the age of thirteen. The exciting news: It's fixable!!
A month after reading the book I signed up for a Life Skills class and committed to attending once a week for seven months. (The Life Skills organization was started by Paul Hegstrom when he found that typical anger management classes did not work for him and the rage he was dealing with in his own life.) I discovered that I have sought out angry men to date my whole life and did not realize I was doing it. I am a little more than half way through the class now and I can honestly say it is the hardest and yet the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life. I am learning about myself, working through the pain of my childhood wounds, and seeing incredible hope for my future. Next to becoming a Christian, reading the book and taking the class are the best things I have ever done.
The book gave me the information I needed, and the class is giving me the support and the tools I need to experience healthy relationships with others and most importantly with myself. I find I have a lot more compassion for angry people, but I am also becoming a lot wiser and more discerning about how I interact with them. I highly recommend the book (a very interesting and easy read) and the Life Skills class.
15 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
the view of an angry man
By James W. Farquhar
An excellent book to help couples having anger issues. I was suprised to learn that I was angry (by definition) and that it is controllable (never thought so). It turned me round, made me face myself, in a similar way to an alcoholic.
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